That’s right, the guy who played the Juggernaut in the third X-Men movie will be the main villain this week, as if you can’t tell by the large scar going down his arm. Juggernaut gets a call on his cellphone and does a complete 180 from cold-blooded killer to baby-talking boyfriend. Juggernaut’s thugs giggle to themselves in the background.Later, in a bar across town, Agent Cheesecake is off-duty, catching up with her strawberry-blonde spy friend, who we’ll call Strawberry Cheesecake due to an upcoming scene she’s in. Strawberry will also spend the entire episode busting our Cheesecake’s chops for sticking around because she has a thing for Chuck, which is what is happening in this scene. Cheesecake tries to act like a robot and downplay her feelings for Chuck. Strawberry does a Help > About on Cheesecake’s prime directive programming and sees that it was installed less than an hour ago in the previous episode. Strawberry is very disappointed because this means she’s broken the Cardinal Rule of Spying.
Meanwhile, back in Chuck’s apartment, he and Seth are playing the quietest videogame ever. Seth says that instead of moping over losing Cheesecake, he should go out and try to rebound. Chuck doesn’t care. Seth sees this as a sign that he’s a lousy Casanova and instead runs the odds that since they will outnumber the women, they’re sure to score tonight. Chuck can’t beat those odds and says ok.
The only problem is that there’s apparently only one bar in town, because as soon as they walk in they immediately spot Strawberry and Cheesecake. Seth, who must have had a thing for her in the previous episode, starts to pester Chuck about whether or not he should go after Strawberry Cheesecake. Chuck, envisioning Seth making a suit out of Strawberry’s skin, gets creeped out and tells Seth to go get some drinks while he talks to the agents.
Walking over, Chuck nonchalantly talks to Strawberry about his and Cheesecake’s mutual relationship, when Strawberry’s boyfriend shows up. Don’t you know who I am? I’m da Jugganaut! Not only is Juggernaut Strawberry’s boyfriend, he’s also her fiancé, as told by Strawberry flashing a huge engagement ring. Chuck and Cheesecake tell Juggs that they’ve heard nothing but good things about him. Luckily, Juggs doesn’t call them on this and instead starts making out with Strawberry before he takes off. Chuck and Cheesecake stand there like an awkward fifth wheel.
Juggernaut waves goodbye and Chuck inadvertently Googles “huge farking scar going down his arm.” Chuck pulls up a Wikipedia page on Patrick C. Juggernaut, notorious arms dealer. After Juggs leaves, Chuck quickly tells Strawberry that he’s a bad man, which she already knows. Turns out Juggernaut is really her undercover target. Strawberry looks at them and condescends that she follows the Cardinal Rule of Spying: Spies don’t fall in love. Walking away, Strawberry flicks Cheesecake’s USB port where she got the prime directive installed, and Cheesecake gives her a dirty look.
Intro credits, followed by commercials.
Back at the Big Lots, Carl Winslow is back from God-knows-where and has officially replaced the dead nerdy guy as the Big Lots manager. All the Big Lots clerks are lined up as Carl gives a pep talk about the new direction of the store. He has learned that there is no word for “no” in the Japanese language, and now Big Lots will not know the meaning of “no” either. Seth sheds a tear, realizing now that there were so many ways he could have hooked up with Connie and she never could have turned him down.
After the meeting, now hysterical after his revelation, Seth is feverishly hounding Chuck about going after Strawberry, even after seeing her with Juggernaut. After Seth mentions making dolls from her hair, Chuck imitates his car alarm and runs out towards the parking lot. TIG and Larry come over to give Seth a hard time about pining after Strawberry, when suddenly she comes walking in the front door followed by her wind machine. Seth goes over to make his move, but Strawberry walks right by him and finds Chuck hiding behind a stack of George Foreman Grill boxes. She quickly shoos him over to the yogurt shack for a meeting. TIG throws it in Seth’s face, as Seth starts to cut himself.
Over in the yogurt shack’s spy basement, Spy Boss fills in Chuck and the agents about Strawberry’s mission with the Juggernaut. The feds must have planned on Juggernaut getting the gold briefcase because it contains a secret high-priced weapon that Strawberry must return to her agency. Luckily, Juggs and Strawberry are holding an engagement party in Juggernaut’s mansion, where Chuck and Cheesecake will pose as Strawberry’s old friends and break into his vault. Hardass will go as Strawberry’s father to run interference. Hardass growls that he’s young enough to be her brother, which Chuck laughs at. Hardass sneers, so Spy Boss settles on him being her uncle, before he can kill Chuck.
Strawberry says that she can get the security key off Juggernaut to open the vault, but it’s up to them to thwart the elaborate movie-style laser system inside the vault. Cheesecake asks why, if the cardkey has Juggernaut-level security access, the card key doesn’t also disarm the laser system. Strawberry draws a blank for five minutes before slowly sitting down, scratching her head. The Spy Boss just looks at Chuck and says that Google will figure it out. Chuck just grabs the vault blueprint and asks the Spy Boss to point to where the security panel is for the laser system so he can use the Juggernaut’s cardkey there. The Spy Boss pretends she has a bad connection and hangs up.
Back at the Big Lots, Seth and the rest of the clerks have abandoned the sales floor and are all in the break room hearing Seth obsess over Strawberry Cheesecake. TIG and Larry start to become concerned for Seth’s well-being and recommend he has a party at his and Chuck’s apartment complex. That way he can invite his imaginary girlfriend and if he needed to be restrained, Chuck can do it and they won’t even have to drive him home. Seth agrees to this idea by letting out a nerdy, psychotic battle cry.
Later at Chuck’s apartment, a now-mentally unstable Seth is helping Chuck get dressed for the engagement party. Seth asks if this get-together is really a date uniting him and Agent Cheesecake. Chuck lies and says no, but his IPhone shows that Cheesecake is calling. Seth starts to cry uncontrollably.
Meanwhile in a luxurious bedroom, Strawberry Cheesecake earns her name by participating in the Cheesecake Moment of the Night: Agent Cheesecake and her are in their underwear, slowly getting dressed for the party, complete with hiding spy weapons on their persons and helping each other with their dresses.
Strawberry thanks Cheesecake for letting her get dressed in slow-motion and then continues to dog her about Chuck. She then settles down and asks Cheesecake if she’d like to talk about what happened with Chuck.
Cheesecake: “Have you ever…I dunno…wanted to just jump the shark, ditch the spy biz, and just run away with someone?”
Strawberry: “Sure.”
Cheesecake: “Really?!”
Strawberry slaps Cheesecake upside the head.
Strawberry: “No! I’m a spy. Duh!”
Back at Chuck’s apartment, Seth is holding Chuck’s car keys over the toilet threatening to flush them if he doesn’t do him a favor – give Strawberry a flyer to their party later in the episode. Chuck nervously agrees and takes the flyer and the keys, and then makes a mad dash for the door.
At Juggernaut’s mansion, Chuck and Cheesecake have arrived and are chatting with Juggs and Strawberry about getting married. Uncle Hardass arrives to the party in a creepy little wig and mustache, looking like a Nobel Prize-winning pedophile.
Strawberry introduces Hardass to Juggernaut while Chuck and Cheesecake locate the entrance to the vault. While getting into position, Chuck takes a page out of Seth’s playbook and begins hounding Cheesecake about getting back together, sparked by all the marriage talk. Cheesecake tells Chuck to cool it around Strawberry because she’s all business, and walks away. Chuck doesn’t see what the big deal is until Strawberry comes up and growls at him to act like a real spy and keep their “happy couple” cover. Chuck says that’s hard since she’s acting so cold. Strawberry explains that Cheesecake’s prime directive is in full effect, so she’s strictly business now.
Commercials.
Still in Juggernaut’s mansion, Chuck catches up to Cheesecake and asks her if Strawberry was right about her prime directive being at full blast. Cheesecake agrees and tells him to drop the relationship stuff, because it just makes her head hurt. In the meantime, Strawberry has snagged the vault key from Juggernaut and passes it to Cheesecake.
Juggernaut starts to make his toast in the main room, distracting all the guests and guards. Cheesecake and Chuck quickly move to the vault. When Juggernaut’s toast goes short, Strawberry and Hardass stall until Chuck and Cheesecake can make it to the vault door. Once at the vault, the cardkey works just like the plothole said, with the door open but the laser-system still activated.
Still dumbfound about there being no way to deactivate the lasers, Chuck admits that he wouldn’t even know what to Google for this type of thing. Cheesecake robotically tells him to relax and Google the damn thing already.
Chuck goes for broke and queries “improbable movie-style laser-dodging acrobatics.” Amazingly, Chuck gets a result and starts jumping and moving around the vault like a mix between Spiderman and James Brown on crack.
Naturally, Chuck trips the alarm with his left butt cheek standing two steps from the door and the vault slams shut. The Jugg Thugs are also alerted in the main room and head towards the vault. Chuck freaks as the vault starts to fill with poisonous gas and Cheesecake tries unsuccessfully to reopen the door with the key card. Thankfully, she spots a vent with a loose cover immediately overhead and jumps into it, discovering a giant, spotless vent to crawl around in. 
While Cheesecake turns off the gas flowing into the vault, Chuck thinks his time is up and starts to gush about Cheesecake. The sentimental Jugg Thugs are on the other side listening in and getting emotional. Suddenly Cheesecake drops from the ceiling and knocks out the thugs, causing the vault door to magically open. Chuck tells her “I love you” and passes out holding the gold briefcase.Commercials.
Back at the yogurt shack, the Spy Boss doesn’t ask Cheesecake how she made it out of Juggernaut’s mansion with an unconscious man, a shiny gold briefcase, and her cover blown, but simply says that the weapon is secure and will be returned by Strawberry to her respective agency. Hardass looks at the weapon, a giant silver Frisbee-looking thing, and asks what it is. Nobody in the room knows, so he just sneers and the Spy Boss hangs up. Chuck wakes up in the other room and overhears Strawberry walking out, asking Cheesecake if she’d like to really jump the shark and transfer to her department of spydom. Cheesecake ponders her marketability after this show gets canceled and calls the boss back.
Cheesecake: “Excuse me, sir. Is there any way I can be relieved of my duties as Chuck’s handler and leave the show?”
Spy Boss” It’s ma’am, and you’re the only main female character on a nerd-fantasy show. No way in hell you’re leaving.”
Spy Boss hangs up as Cheesecake notices Chuck awake. She drags him to wherever the training room is.
Cheesecake decides to take out her aggression by training Chuck with a bow staff. She barks at him to be a real spy and Google “bow” already. Chuck says that there are too many results -- bow and arrow, bow tie, even bowing to royalty. Cheesecake yells at him to get it right. Chuck confesses he did get a positive result, but he doesn’t want to hurt her. Cheesecake knocks Chuck on his butt and robotically says “You can’t.”Strawberry leaves the yogurt shack with the weapons briefcase, but spots Juggernaut circling the Big Lots parking lot. Strawberry runs into the Big Lots while Seth as leaving his hundredth voicemail on Chuck’s phone on whether or not he gave Strawberry the flyer. TIG and Larry come up, telling Seth how worried they are about him and this imaginary girlfriend of his. That is until all three see her walk in and Seth is frozen in place with anxiety. Carl Winslow comes out of his office and says that there’s no Japanese word for “no”…but if Seth doesn’t ask her out already and get it out of his system, he’ll make up a word to tell the psych ward when they ask if Seth’s fit to work at the store. Strawberry, instead, comes to Seth with the gold briefcase and makes him promise to give it to Chuck. Seth knows he might never get another chance, and says that he will on one condition – if she promises to come to his party later in the episode. She agrees.
Although, as Strawberry grabs the flyer, Seth cuts off a lock of her hair and runs back to the break room chewing it. Juggs and his thugs walk in and Strawberry follows Seth’s lead. Running around the back rooms of the Big Lots, Strawberry is suddenly dead-ended by Juggernaut at gunpoint.
Juggernaut takes her back to the car and sticks a magical thumb drive in the car’s DVD player that starts to display exactly what the security camera captured when Chuck was in the vault. He confessed to both him and Strawberry being spies. Strawberry says she’s going to kill him. Juggs pulls out the party flyer with Chuck’s picture and says that, instead, he’s going to kill him and then her.
Commercials.
The party is now going on at Chuck’s, with a bunch of nerds and normal-looking girls getting down in Chuck’s courtyard. TIG and Larry, instead of engaging Seth, are turning the courtyard fountain into a giant Hairy Buffalo maker. After the brew is made TIG points out that Strawberry has arrived…with Juggernaut and 3 of his goons. Seth starts to unravel. Juggs IDs Seth from the flyer and barges into the apartment to wait for Chuck. While being pulled inside, Strawberry tells Seth to call Chuck. Seth calls Chuck, who is still in the spy basement trying to locate Strawberry Cheesecake, saying that she has shown up at their party with the Juggernaut. Chuck, knowing Seth is probably very unstable about all this, asks Seth to stay as far away from Strawberry as possible, for her own safety. Seth hangs up and starts shaking with rage. TIG and Larry see this and replace themselves with their cutouts from the last episode, in case things turn ugly.
Two stagehands see the cutouts and decide that they belong somewhere in the main storyline, so they place them in the apartment with Juggernaut and his thugs.
The Juggernaut thugs don’t know what they’re doing in there, so they just knock the cutouts to the floor. Juggernaut accuses Strawberry of planting the cutouts to distract them and warns her that the next time he’ll kill her. Seeing the two of them sitting on his couch throws Seth over the line and he storms into the apartment. Chuck and the agents see this on a security feed and start to panic a little. Seth mans-up and tells off Juggernaut and his thugs for showing up uninvited to the party, and as for Cheesecake, he takes the gold briefcase out from under the coffee table and tells her to shove it where the sun don’t shine. Seth also adds that there’s no Japanese word for “no”, but there is a word for “GETOFFMYCOUCHANDGETTHEHELLOUTOFMYAPARTMENT!!” Juggs is taken aback, until Seth trips over one of the cardboard cutouts and knocks himself out against the wall. Chuck freaks that the bad guys now have both the briefcase and Strawberry Cheesecake and they have no backup plan. Hardass says he’s on it.
Hardass comes out of his random apartment disguised as a grumpy neighbor in his pajamas, hosing off all the partygoers and making them run out of the courtyard. Meanwhile, Chuck and Cheesecake come out of a side door armed with a tiki torch and gun, respectively. Juggs and his thugs come out of the apartment and the two agents draw their guns on his crew. But Juggernaut has Strawberry at gunpoint. Chuck sees that Larry labeled the fountain as “flammable” and tells the two agents to drop their guns. As the thugs go for their guns, Chuck throws the lit torch into the fountain, making a huge explosion.
In the commotion, Cheesecake and Hardass knock out the thugs, but Juggernaut still has Strawberry at gunpoint. Juggs says he’ll kill her anyway because she broke his heart and now he has nothing left to live for. Chuck puts this in context of his relationship with Cheesecake and tells Juggernaut that, even though she’s a spy, maybe she did have real feelings for him.
Juggernaut (to Strawberry): “Is that true?”
Strawberry: “I admit, I did fall in love with you.”
Juggernaut: “Really?!”
Strawberry mega-pimp slaps Juggernaut upside the head, knocking him out.
Strawberry: “No! I’m a spy. Duh!”
Cheesecake feels dumb for Strawberry obviously being in the right this entire episode.
Commercials.
Back in the random apartment, Chuck is trying to Google the weapon by its briefcase and the Spy Boss tells him to knock it off. She also says that Hardass will deliver it to Strawberry’s contacts from here. Hanging up, the Spy Boss asks a man off-camera to let Chuck and the agents know about something coming, to be prepared. Don’t look at me, I have no idea.
Chuck goes outside to start cleaning up the courtyard and Cheesecake comes out to talk to him. Chuck admits today wasn’t his best day, and he was just an emotional liability. Cheesecake reassures him that it was his emotions that talked down Juggernaut and saved Strawberry. Feeling a little better, Chuck asks if she wants to help clean, but she declines, saying Seth would probably know a thing or two about cleaning supplies. Chuck calls for Seth, but gets no answer.
Instead, Seth is in his bed with Strawberry Cheesecake, who confesses that no one’s ever said “no” to her and it really turned her on. Seth admits he’s happy that she was turned on by that, and not the “stick it where the sun don’t shine” remark.
Later, Strawberry stops by the spy basement to say goodbye and ask Cheesecake if she wanted to leave the show with her, like they talked about earlier. Cheesecake says no because she’s got some comic book conventions to look forward to. Strawberry admits she didn’t think she would, and gives her a farewell gift. But, on the way out, she tells Cheesecake a response in French that will cause the prime directive to make her pee her pants. Cheesecake responds with the German phrase for “don’t let the doorknob hit you in the ass on the way out.” After Strawberry leaves, Cheesecake looks at the gift – Juggernaut’s magical thumb drive. She plugs it into the computer and sees what Chuck was talking about. He confessed to turning her down at the fake train station because he knew, with Google, he could be an amazing spy, and that he could save many people, like his friends, family, and especially her, because he loves her. Cheesecake puts her prime directive on pause and starts to cry.
Wow, what a downer. See ya for the next one.
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