The show starts with a flashback to three years ago, when Cheesecake first walked into the Big Lots. Back then, Chuck and Seth were standing at the Service Desk, comparing Cheesecake to Kim Basinger’s character from the 1989 Batman movie. Back in present day, Chuck and Seth are back up at the Service Desk, but up walks Smallville looking like she stole Elusive Connie’s wardrobe.
Sadly, the two guys don’t update themselves and compare her to Katie Holmes from Batman Begins. Seth, who has a thing for sloppily-dressed Asian-Americans, checks out Smallville and asks Chuck if, when he first saw Cheesecake three years ago, it was love at first sight. Chuck simply says that the experience changed his life forever. Smallville gets up to the counter and Seth playfully turns away from her and then turns back suddenly. Smallville gives him a funny look. Disappointed that she hasn’t disappeared on him, Seth slumps off. Since it’s her first day, Smallville asks Chuck for advice fitting in at Big Lots. Chuck tells her, first of all, never to leave his sight because most of the clerks have ever been around a girl before and they can get pretty creepy. Smallville doesn’t believe him until she looks around the Service Desk and suddenly all the clerks are staring at her like potential rapists.
Smallville goes to get closer to Chuck, but is blocked by TIG and Larry.
They creep up to Smallville and start smelling her hair. Chuck grabs a water-filled spray bottle from beneath the counter and squirts the bad clerks before walking off with Smallville. 
Smallville asks about a certain company procedure from the employee handbook, and Chuck stops her right there. Chuck tells her not to worry about company procedure, since all the clerks are obvious screwups, including himself, and on top of that he’s hardly ever at the store. Smallville asks that if he’s such a screwup, why did he go on the Paris delivery? Chuck stammers trying to think of an answer, but is intercepted by Hardass who tells him to head to the yogurt shack. Chuck makes up an excuse to head out, but promises her that he’ll show her around when he gets back. 
As he walks out of the store, Smallville nervously looks back at the Service Desk. TIG and Larry give her kissy faces and other much cruder gestures as they place bets on who will get to her first. Smallville decides to spend the rest of the morning in her car.Chuck walks down into the spy basement to meet Cheesecake and Hardass. He asks where Bad Superman is. On a nearby monitor, Spy Boss tells Chuck that they’ve given Superman the week off. Between setting up and endangering Chuck, and talking down to Cheesecake last week, Spy Boss says he won’t be missed. She also addresses the two agents and the civilian Chuck. Chuck points out that with his first solo mission in the books, he’s an agent too.
Spy Boss explains that after all the bullcrap last week, that mission didn’t really count. Besides, in the end, the CIA discovered Superman could have just pried the silver Frisbee open with a screwdriver. Either way, Spy Boss states that this week’s mission is fairly simple: a large sum of offshore KAOS money was transferred to a civilian account and the CIA needs to find out why. The civilian in question is a nerdy beak-faced computer engineer who dropped out of MIT.
The feds have sent an electrical impulse into his apartment’s wiring to fry all of his HDMI cables, and they have also blocked every single HDMI vendor from showing up on his internet connection. This will leave no other choice but for the Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy to come into Big Lots to find the cheapest HDMI cables. This is how Chuck will buddy up to him and find out what his connection is to KAOS. Chuck says this mission is a piece of cake. Hardass tells him not to get cocky, mostly because his people skills suck. Cheesecake also reminds him that even if he does buddy up to him, the Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy is just a job, not a real friend, and he’ll have to burn him eventually. Hardass advises him that, instead of buddying up to him, it would be simpler to just try to hook him up with something he wants or needs. Speaking of which, Chuck and the agents spot Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy walking into the Big Lots from the spy feed. Overconfidently, Chuck again says it’s a piece of cake and runs off to meet the nerd. Cheesecake facepalms and Hardass growls about Chuck already on the road to blowing the mission.Chuck walks into the Big Lots as the two agents argue about Chuck not being ready for a mission where he cons somebody. Hardass, arguing that he is ready, suggests this will be more like a training mission, and radios to Chuck that the Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy is talking to Smallville.
Chuck goes over to take over for Smallville, but she tries to shrug him off. Turns out Smallville has almost completed a sale with the nerd, and he’s so nerdy, he’s just happy someone with boobies is talking to him. Nevertheless, Chuck starts talking down to Smallville so he can get personal with the nerd. Smallville walks away defeated. Chuck immediately tries to spark up a conversation with Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy. Unfortunately, he tells Chuck that unless he brings back Smallville or grows a set of boobies, he’ll go to Walmart for his TV cables. The agents realize Chuck has already started off on the wrong foot, and try to talk him through sweet-talking the guy. They tell Chuck to take it slow, but since it’s Chuck, he does the complete opposite and comes on stronger than an old man’s aftershave. So strong that he basically throws his business card at him, gives him the HDMI cables for free, and then tells him to run out the front door to flee from security.
Both agents facepalm and Hardass calls Chuck an idiot. He also admits that Cheesecake was right about Chuck not being ready for a mission like this. Cheesecake tells him “I told ya so!”
Intro credits. Commercials.
We return to the apartment of the unknown characters. Unknown Lady walks in with groceries, startling the Unknown Guy on the couch. It seems that he’s still pretty edgy about the whole situation with the Desperate Baroness two episodes ago. Unknown Lady confesses that ever since he was the entire focus of an episode, he hasn’t been the same anymore. He isn’t active anymore and all he does is sit around watching TV. Unknown Guy unconvincingly says it’s because he pulled a hamstring. Unknown Lady puts down the groceries and asks the guy what he knows about Chuck going to Paris. She found a claim ticket from a Parisian airport in his luggage while snooping around his apartment for loose change, and asks Unknown Guy if he knows anything about it. Even though neither one of them was on that episode, Unknown Guy suspiciously says he doesn’t know and doesn’t want to talk about it. Unknown Lady forcefully says that he must be hiding something about this from her. Unknown Guy stammers a little more and runs out the front door, saying he has to go to work. On the way out, he slams the door in her face. The lady stands inside the apartment looking very disappointed, while the guy is standing outside the front door looking stressed out.
Meanwhile at the Big Lots, Smallville is up at the Service Desk, while TIG and Larry start creeping around her. Chuck wacks them both with a mini-Nerf bat and pulls Smallville away from them. He asks if she’s ready for his personal tour and Smallville lights up like a Christmas tree. But, as expected, Hardass comes back and tells him to head back to the yogurt shack. Chuck makes up a bad excuse of having a mild yogurt addiction and heads for the door. On the way out, Chuck asks Seth to keep an eye on the increasingly menacing TIG and Larry before they can get to Smallville. Seth agrees, mostly because she’s been locking herself in the break room while Chuck’s away. Seth tells TIG and Larry to come with him to his new office – basically the janitor’s closet with a folding table in it.
Seth tells the two that they just can’t stalk a co-worker like Smallville. Larry calls Seth out on dating Connie, the imaginary co-worker. With that as their leverage, TIG and Larry start making demands to offset this double-standard in Seth’s company policy. Having reminded him of Connie, Seth’s eyes suddenly glow an eerie red. Seth bellows that he’s pulling rank and demanding TIG and Larry continue their stalking ways, but so that he can use the information to get her. TIG and Larry agree because there’s nothing else for them to do on the show.
In the spy basement, Hardass pulls up information about the Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy and starts commenting on how lonely and nerdy he is. As Chuck starts to get interested, Hardass reveals he actually pulled up Chuck's original file. While Chuck gets embarrassed, Hardass pulls up the Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy’s actual intel file and says that basically his and Chuck’s files are the same with one exception – the nerd loves the Nacho Sampler. Chuck asks what the hell that is. Hardass has no idea and goes off to call every Mexican restaurant in Chuck City. 
Cheesecake gives Chuck a new earpiece and reminds him that he came on much too strong the first time. The key is to make the other person think they’re in control. Seeing a connection with the Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy, Chuck asks Cheesecake is she’s been using those tactics and playing him ever since that first day at the Big Lots. Hardass snickers, and Cheesecake reminds Chuck that she’s allowed him to play the socially-inept-anxious-nerd-card during every one of their missions, so of course she’s not just pandering to him. Her admission starts to bum out Chuck, who says how pathetic it was that he thought he was lucky enough to hook up with Cheesecake that day. Cheesecake assures him that on that day he wasn’t pathetic, but instead sweet and innocent and likable and… -- Hardass cuts her off before this turns into a touchy-feely episode to say that he has found a bar that sells a “Nacho Sampler” and the Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy is heading that way.Over at the famed Only Bar in Town That Serves Nachos, the Nerdy Beak-Faced slides up to a barstool. He sets down a briefcase and then IDs the graphic novel the guy need to him is reading, covering his face.
It’s actually Chuck, and the nerd recognizes him. Chuck apologizes for running him out of the Big Lots earlier, that it was just to test Big Lots security. The nerd asks if Big Lots actually has security, and Chuck quickly changes the subject. Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy reminds Chuck that he’s still mad at him for ruining his shot with Smallville, and starts getting depressed. Cheesecake relays to Chuck that he need to boost the nerd’s ego before he takes off. Chuck lies that Smallville had feelings for him, which Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy sees right through, and comforts himself by ordering the rare Nacho Sampler. The bartender apologizes and says they just sold their last one. Hardass chimes in that he personally tainted all the nacho ingredients, right after they made their last Nacho Sampler, which the bartender serves up to Chuck. Chuck asks Hardass if he was sure he tainted the ingredients after they made his Nacho Sampler. Hardass suddenly gets quiet and disconnects his communicator. With a sickening face, Chuck slides the Nacho Sampler over to the nerd.
Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy lights up and has a complete change-of-heart about Chuck, offering to buy him a beer. Chuck smiles back in acceptance. 
Back in Seth’s supply closet, TIG and Larry have returned with some truly frightening recon on Smallville. Creepy surveillance photos of her throughout the store, photos of the inside of her apartment, some of her assorted clothing, a bag of her garbage, and her recently killed pet cat. Seth shivers a little, and then asks what they found about her. Larry points out one of the photos showing French film posters on her walls, and another showing her mostly foreign DVD movie collection. TIG pulls her stolen iPod out of his pocket and says its mostly filled with classical music. Both TIG and Larry agree that Smallville is definitely out of Seth’s league.
Seth lays his head in defeat on the folding table, while TIG and Larry go to pawn some of Smallville’s jewelry.
At the bar, Chuck and the nerd are bonding over both being college dropouts, although Chuck doesn’t mind it so much. If he actually achieved a college degree, he would lose his “idiot-manchild” persona that gave him a national television show. But the Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy does mind, and he says all the people who doubted him will soon see his real potential, because he has something big planned. The nerd’s phone goes off, and it’s a KAOS phone.
Chuck informs the agents. Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy shrugs off the people on the other end and tells them to leave him alone about his prototype. He hangs up on the KAOS agents and tells Chuck that the people on the phone don’t scare him.Using the same program he ran on the Baroness’ phone, Hardass traces the nerd’s callers. They’re three minutes away and coming in fast. He tells Cheesecake to do her thing. Cheesecake starts to get a little giddy.
Chuck tries to get Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy to spill about his prototype and the people on the phone, but he won’t reveal anything except that it’s “weapons related.” Without Bad Superman to frown upon it, Cheesecake proudly struts into the bar for the Cheesecake Moment of the Night – she slowly walks into the bar and unzips her jacket to reveal a tight belly shirt underneath.
Chuck asks Hardass what the hell she’s doing butting in on his assignment. Hardass explains that he was moving too slow, and besides, guys don’t want to watch two nerds eating nachos. Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy’s eyes bug out, staring at Cheesecake from across the room, and he asks Chuck how to make his move. Chuck tells him to just play it cool. But of course he can’t. Cheesecake comes over and introduces herself to the nerd, who immediately starts stuttering and acting shy.
Hardass says any other girl would have walked away by now, so he’s got to give him an assist to make this believable. 
Chuck snaps into wingman mode, offering Cheesecake the seat next to Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy. He lips “thank you” to Chuck and introduces himself to Cheesecake.Inside the spy van parked in the parking lot, Hardass sees the KAOS van pull up. He radios in to Chuck and Cheesecake to get the nerd out of there fast. Cheesecake lures the nerd in for a kiss, delivers, and then jabs him in the neck with a tranquilizer pin.
Chuck and Cheesecake carry the knocked out nerd and his briefcase out the back door and speed off in the van as the KAOS agents start to pour in through the front door. Holding the Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy in her arms, Hardass rides Cheesecake about having a way with taking down nerds. Chuck responses with a crappy look.Commercials.
Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy wakes up in a very feminine bedroom with Cheesecake’s foot in his face. He asks where he is. Cheesecake gets face-to-face with him and explains that he’s in her bedroom after having had one too many. The nerd asks what exactly happened the previous night. Cheesecake responds that they had an intense love-making session. The nerd asks why she chose to hook up with him, since she’s obviously too hot for him. Cheesecake says that he seemed so sexy and secretive, and that secrets turn her on. The nerd abruptly blurts out that his project is a weapon, and that it will change everything. Cheesecake asks for more details, but first the nerd wants to go another round, to make up for not remembering all the action the night before.
At this point, a tranq gun pops out of a panel in the wall and knocks out the nerd. Cheesecake treats the audience to a second Cheesecake Moment of the Week to make up for last week as she rolls out of bed towards the camera in just her underwear.
She walks through a secret passage in the closet and joins Chuck and Hardass on the other side of a two-way mirror, revealing Cheesecake’s bedroom as actually a set in the spy basement. Chuck voices his concern that constantly tranquilizing someone may be harmful to their body. Cheesecake reminds him that this a show where he took three solid gutpunches over the course of fifteen minutes and didn’t even throw up, so don’t sweat the scientific stuff.The nerd starts to come to and Hardass goes for the tranq gun. Chuck, still ashamed that Cheesecake had to seal the deal at the bar, waves him off. The nerd finds Chuck’s business card and gives him a call. He thanks Chuck for his great wingman skills and asks Chuck if he saw what happened to his briefcase from the bar, explaining that his life’s work is in it. Chuck says he picked it up for him. Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy is relieved and asks to meet Chuck at the Big Lots in a half hour to pick it up. Chuck agrees. The nerd hangs up and goes to the door calling for Cheesecake. Hardass tranqs him one more time for the hell of it.
Chuck goes to open the nerd’s briefcase, but Hardass stops him, saying Spy Boss is sending a hazmat team to check it out. Chuck shrugs him off and endangers the entire operation by opening it anyway. Searching through assorted clothes, Chuck finds a long triangular box. Chuck stares at it, but Google has no results for “long triangular box.”
Hardass takes the box, as Chuck fumbles with it, to check it out for himself. Cheesecake closes the briefcase and tells Chuck to return it to the nerd at Big Lots as though nothing has happened. Chuck is concerned what KAOS will do to Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy when they don’t get their triangular secret weapon. Cheesecake tells him not to think about it, just like he shouldn’t think about how they’re going to get the nerd out of the fake room and send him on his way to the Big Lots even though Cheesecake has blue-balled him.Chuck walks back into the Big Lots carrying the nerd’s briefcase. He’s mildly concerned that, as he looks around, all the horny clerks and Smallville are missing. But one person who isn’t missing is the Unknown Guy. He explains how the Unknown Lady found his claim ticket from Paris and he just doesn’t have it in him to lie to his wife anymore about Chuck. He begs Chuck to come clean to the lady to put his mind at ease. Chuck explains that he can’t reveal his secret to the Unknown Lady, because if both of them know, they’ll be taken away by witness protection, and he needs someone to talk to on this show besides the Big Lots crew. Chuck assures the guy that lying looks bad now, but it’s for the best in the long run.
As if on cue, Unknown Lady walks into Big Lots. Chuck spots her and ducks Unknown Guy behind a short aisle. She walks over to Chuck and, as expected, brings up the Paris claim ticket yet again. Instead of busting her for breaking into his apartment and going through his crap, he explains that the trip was for an unusual work-related delivery to Paris. The lady asks why Chuck kept his trip a secret. Instead of honestly explaining that his trip was short-lived and business-only, and he didn’t tell her because he didn’t want to make her jealous over nothing, he lies that for completing the unusual delivery in Paris, the customer gave him access to his luxurious apartment for a week. Chuck goes on to say he didn’t want to tell her because it was a second honeymoon surprise for her and the Unknown Guy. The Unknown Lady lights up, while Chuck feels disgusted with himself. Probably because he’s now out so much money to rent a luxurious Paris apartment for a week.
Cheesecake and Hardass watch Chuck in the spy basement from the security feed. Hardass, analyzing the triangular package in an airtight box, tells Cheesecake that Chuck is ready to be a real spy. Mostly because of how well he lies. Hardass jabs that he learned it so well from being with Cheesecake. Cheesecake starts to feel like crap.
Unknown Lady walks out of the Big Lots like she just won the lottery, and Unknown Guy pops up from behind the aisle.
He tells Chuck that he had no idea how cold-blooded he was. Chuck comforts the guy by saying he’s still the same innocent friend Unknown Guy has always known, and then quickly blows him off as Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy walks into the store. Chuck goes over to the nerd, returning his briefcase. Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy thanks him and calls him a life saver. Chuck says that’s what friends are for. The nerd robotically responds that they are friends, which Chuck gives a sour look to.
The nerd says that after his business trip he’ll be rich enough to start his own company, and he’ll look up Chuck to get him out of retail hell. His main problem arises as his KAOS phone rings. The goons on the other end are still pressuring him about his secret project. Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy hangs up on them again. Chuck asks who was on the on the phone, instead of asking what kind of phone looks like a Power Ranger toy. Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy just says they are a group of losers who are underpaying him for his new project. He’s blowing them off because he found out he can get much more money for his project on the open market. Although it’s obvious that KAOS goons are on their way to collect on Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy, just like at the nacho bar, Chuck tells him to wait in the Big Lots alone while he goes over to the yogurt shack.In the spy basement, a scan of the nerd’s box show it isn’t a bomb, so Hardass start to try to open it. Chuck runs down into the basement worried that KAOS will do something horrible to the nerd if he doesn’t deliver what’s in the box. Hardass reminds Chuck that Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy’s project is a weapon, so he not an innocent party. And since they have the weapon, the nerd’s not their concern anymore.
At Big Lots, just like at the nacho bar, KAOS agents start pouring through the front door. Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy goes out the ever-popular rear loading door. Unfortunately, it’s so popular that the KAOS van knows to intercept him there. Four goons get out and demand, at gunpoint, that he takes them to his lab for the weapon.
Just then, Hardass finds a secret panel on the nerd’s triangular box, which releases an explosion of foam inside the examination box. Hardass takes a whiff and realizes it’s just shaving cream, and that the box was really a decoy. Wondering where the real weapon is, Chuck sees the nerd about to be captured behind the Big Lots on the security feed.
Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy opens the suitcase and takes out a regular-looking pair of sunglasses. Using the glasses, he Googles “kung-fu,” just like Chuck would with his mind. With the search results in his short-term-memory, the nerd walks up to the four goons and takes them out one-by-one.
Chuck sees all this and quickly deduces that the sunglasses give him Google-searching abilities and that the weapon is actually the Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy himself. Back on the loading dock, the nerd ditches his KAOS phone and drives off in the KAOS van.Commercials.
After the break, Chuck is still looking at the security monitor, showing the fallen KAOS goons. He’s amazed that the Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy has created another implausible piece of Google-in-the-brain technology. Hardass calculates that he must have captured one of the thingamabob components, after the doo-dad that gave Chuck his Google-in-the-brain exploded, and he reverse-engineered it to make the Google Glasses. Cheesecake states that now they have to get him back. Cheesecake remembers aloud that the nerd said he was going to get rich by selling his project to the highest bidder. Meanwhile, Cheesecake’s computer has detected Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy using his credit card to buy a ticket to Dubai. Chuck asks what could possibly be in Dubai. Hardass suddenly gushes about Dubai, since it is the location for Evil-Con – the annual bad guy super-weapon convention. Being a weapons guy, he starts dancing in place that he gets to go check it out. Chuck and Cheesecake just smile and humor him.
While international terrorists were running around the Big Lots, Seth was in his closet getting ready to put the moves on Smallville. He has foreign movie posters hanging on the walls, he’s dressed like a French Hugh Hefner, and he even had her dead cat stuffed and mounted on his desk. Just like he had planned, Smallville runs screaming into Seth’s closet, being chased by TIG and Larry. Seth gets Smallville inside, hits both clerks with a baseball bat to fend them off, and then locks the door. Smallville looks around Seth’s make-shift office and recognizes the movie posters and the classical music playing in the background. Seth lies that he’s familiar with all these things. Smallville says she never noticed how much they have in common. Then Seth turns slightly racist, implying that she’s a native Asian, by saying he loves not only international cinema, but international people as well. Seth admits that most people at the Big Lots are just aware of the goings-on in Chuck City. Smallville agrees, bringing up how Chuck has only recently been to Paris, due to a bizarre delivery.
After this strange admission, Seth gets a little unstable and starts to zone out. Smallville confesses that Chuck told her it was a secret, but she assumed Seth knew since he’s the assistant manager. Seth, instead of checking the delivery records to confirm that Chuck made up the whole Paris delivery situation, says that of course he knew. While Seth storms toward the door, Smallville asks Seth what the deal is with Chuck’s constant trips to the yogurt shack. Seth pulls himself together for a brief moment to mention that Chuck’s ex-girlfriend works there and he’s having trouble letting go. Smallville tries to wrap her head around that statement while Seth slams the door to the closet behind him. Clenching his fists tight, Seth screams out “Chuuuuuuuuck!!!”
Across the globe in Dubai, a poorly-rendered CGI convention center is shown as the location of Evil-Con. Inside is a lackluster representation of a “convention hall” – in actuality it’s an empty sound stage with small display booths and random scaffolding, fake guns, and weapon-holding booth babes. Coming from an exterior that for some reason looks like Coruscant from the Star Wars prequels, Chuck and the agents enter the hall. Chuck suddenly stops and asks the other two what sounds like someone screaming his name. Cheesecake tells him to nevermind that and remember why they are there. She also tells Hardass not to do any shopping, even as he wanders over to a laser pen booth.
The agents and Chuck come across Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy’s stage, containing a couple of booth babes and a tall rectangular object underneath a sheet. The nerd comes out and announces that he will show everyone in the crowd the future of weaponry and that he will display the most powerful weapon in mankind. Taking the sheet off the tall object, he reveals a full-length mirror. Looking into it, he proclaims that he is that ultimate weapon. The crowd laughs.
Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy admits he is scrawny and in poor health, but putting on his glasses will turn him into a deadly kung-fu master. He asks the crowd for volunteers to demonstrate and three foreign military soldiers walk up to the stage. Using his Google skills, the nerd quickly mops the floor with the soldiers, one-by-one. The crowd applauds. Chuck and the agents run backstage to intercept the nerd. Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy finishes up by saying the glasses require no training, and can turn anyone into a killing machine. He tells the crowd the bidding will start in five minutes at a starting bid of $50 million and walks backstage.
The nerd starts eating some nachos from the catering table as the agents and Chuck watch on. Hardass goes to tranq the guy, but Chuck waves him off, saying the nerd is his responsibility. Hardass reminds Chuck not to go soft on the Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy and offers him the tranq gun. Chuck pushes it away and goes to talk to the nerd.
Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy sees Chuck and is taken aback, asking what he’s doing there. Chuck comes clean and says that he’s a CIA agent there to protect him from making a big mistake with the Google Glasses. The nerd gets insulted that this means their friendship was fake, and then gets even madder after seeing Cheesecake is a spy too. Chuck apologizes but says it’s his job to keep him safe from the bad guys. The nerd asks how the bad guys are any worse than people pretending to be his friend, or pretending to sleep with him. Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy whines that he doesn’t need any friends with the Google Glasses and runs off. As soon as he leaves, Chuck and the agents are surrounded by KAOS goons.
The nerd runs back out onto the stage, where the massive, eagerly-awaiting audience has been replaced by the main KAOS goon, who’s been calling the nerd throughout this episode, holding him at gunpoint. He says the nerd has something that belongs to him. Chuck and the agents also come out on stage with their hands up.
Commercials.
We return to Dubai, where Chuck and the agents are getting handcuffed by a KAOS goon to chairs in a back room of the convention center. As with all usual spy shows, the goon leaves the room immediately so that the spies can start trying to escape. Hardass confesses that he bought a laser pen on the showroom floor that was advertised to cut through anything, so they can use it to escape. Even though Cheesecake would be more coordinated, Hardass asks Chuck to take the pen out of his pants pocket with his mouth and cut his handcuffs open. This leads to a twenty-minute-long, obvious “dude’s face around another dude’s crotch” innuendo jokes.
After Chuck says “Oh, what a lovely tea party,” he frees Hardass, who cuts the other two loose and then cuts the locked door open.Elsewhere in the convention center, the Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy is still being held at gunpoint by the world’s most patient KAOS agent. The agent explains that they don’t even need the nerd, just his glasses. Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy drops the Google Glasses to the ground and crushes them, saying that now they do need to keep him alive. Chuck runs in along with the agents, who hold the KAOS goons at gunpoint. Cheesecake and Hardass tell the goons to drop their weapons, but nobody moves.
An over-excited convention presenter leads a group into the room for a second and then they leave. Yeah, it made about that much sense.The lead KAOS agent says his arm’s getting tired from pointing his gun at the nerd, so he just wants to kill him at this point. Hardass says that with all the “Chuck makes a friend” crap he’s seen today, he has no objections with that. Obviously Chuck disagrees and he plays the psycho card, holding a laser pen and threatening to do some damage if the KAOS agents hurt the nerd. The KAOS agent calls his bluff, and Chuck goes to zap the tip of his ear off to make a point.
But instead, a knife blade comes out. Chuck yells at Hardass, realizing he gave him a different pen that was less dangerous.The KAOS agent again goes to shoot Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy dead, when Chuck spots a shuriken throwing star from 3 miles away and quickly Googles it.
With his new throwing star skills, Chuck throws the knife pen at the KAOS agents hand to disarm him. As with all typical KAOS agents, he shoots one of his own goons dead before dropping the gun.
The distraction allow Cheesecake and Hardass to start taking out the rest of the KAOS men, while the lead agent goes to run away. All the KAOS goons get knocked out, except for one that gets the better of Cheesecake. But Chuck mistakes a nacho plate for a Frisbee, Googles it, and then throws the plate at the guy’s head to save her.
Cheesecake and Hardass go to run after the head KAOS agent, Hardass quickly yells at Chuck not to let Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy get away, since he knows too much. Chuck finds the nerd, who thanks Chuck yet again, this time for saving him from being captured by KAOS. Chuck tells him that actually he’s going to have to capture him and take him in. The nerd begs him not to take him in and promises to disappear without telling a soul about the glasses or what happened today. Chuck gives in and allows him to run away. On his way out, he tells Chuck he owes him his life.
As Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy goes to walk out the first door of the convention center, he waves goodbye to Chuck. Hardass sees this and sighs that he knew Chuck wouldn’t bust his friend, and goes to shoot the nerd, this time with something a little more lethal than a tranq gun. Suddenly a bug crawls up Chuck’s butt and he bitterly grabs a tranq gun from a nearby display and nails Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy, dropping him to the ground.
A nearby crowd gives Chuck some good old-fashioned Evil-Con applause. Hardass changes his tune and says that maybe he was wrong about Chuck. Cheesecake stands there shocked at what just happened.
Commercials.
Back in the states, Chuck and Cheesecake are in the main spy basement with the Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy being held one room over. Cheesecake levels with Chuck that now the nerd will have to be taken underground so that KAOS can never grab him again for his Google knowledge. Noticing how hard Chuck’s taking this, Cheesecake asks if he wants her to break the news to the nerd. Chuck, remembering what happened last time Cheesecake and the nerd were left alone in a room together, gets tough and says that he has to finish this.
Chuck walks into the room and the Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy tells him that he’s completely scared and just wants to go home. Chuck informs him that he can’t go home, but instead will be taken to a secure government isolation facility. The nerd announces that he did nothing wrong except try to get rich. Chuck almost lightens up until he realizes that the nerd also copied a very classified federal database handler, and that Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy is just blowing smoke up his ass. Hardass brings in some federal heavies to collect the nerd. The nerd makes one last plea to Chuck, to help him as a friend. Chuck, sick of being used and looking like a fool, coldly says that he’s a spy, not his friend.
The heavies drag Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy away as he looks shocked at Chuck. Hardass tells Chuck the only way to unwind from a mission like this is with a tall stiff one.
Cheesecake thinks aloud that if Chuck’s going to be this big of a buzzkill every week, she’s going to need a lot more tight t-shirts.
Chuck returns to Big Lots and Smallville points out the obvious that, once again, Chuck been gone the entire day. She snarkily asks him what grand place he went to this time, like maybe back to Paris. Chuck admits that he went to Dubai. Either that or the one busy skyscraper planet from the Star Wars prequels. Smallville throws out that he was probably just next door, spending time with his ex at the yogurt shack, and goes to walk out of the store.
Chuck asks about taking her on that tour he promised. Smallville says she already figured out the one big tip about the Big Lots – no one ever checks if you’re working, or if you’re even there. Smallville leaves to spend the rest of the day at home while she’s still on the clock.Seth walks up and asks to speak to Chuck. Chuck says to make it quick because he’s tired. Seth tells him that he can imagine, what with all the traveling. Chuck thinks the jig is up, until Seth clarifies that he meant all the delivery travel Chuck does. Chuck lets out a sigh of relief until Seth says that it’s funny that Chuck spends so much time doing deliveries without even using the store’s van, taking any merchandise, or filing any paperwork as proof of delivery. Chuck’s eyes get wide with suspicion.
Seth then does a 180 and says that he’s just kidding because that would be way too much homework on his part, and that Chuck’s free to go. Chuck runs the hell outta the store.
TIG and Larry walk up with another bag of Smallville’s garbage for the three of them to sift through. Seth tells them to stop pursuing her and instead find out everything they can about Chuck for him. Seth walks away while TIG and Larry get weirded out that Seth now likes Chuck as more than a friend.Across town in the Unknowns’ apartment, the Unknown Lady gets excited seeing Chuck’s complimentary plane tickets to Paris arrive in the mail. Unknown Guy flips out immediately after finding out and starts babbling that they shouldn’t go. The lady insists that they use the tickets because they’re free. The guy starts fidgeting and mumbling to himself that he’ll never be free and that all things related to Chuck have strings attached. Unknown Guy, having reached his breaking point, almost confesses to Mrs. Unknown that Chuck is a spy. Instead he goes on a bizarre Honeymooners-style tirade that in their wedding vows, she promised to obey him, so he’s demanding that she obey him and destroy the tickets.
Unknown Lady just gives the guy a shocked look. In one final desperate act, Unknown Guy snaps. He grabs the tickets, shoves down his wife, and then breaks through the window to get outside. 
As the Unknown Guy runs away, chewing up the tickets and laughing maniacally, he runs past Seth who gives him a puzzled look. Seeing the Unknown Lady scream at her husband to give back the tickets, Seth asks her what’s going on. The lady tells Seth that the Unknown Guy has been a real wreck during the past two shows, and she suspects that he and Chuck are hiding some giant secret.Seth: “Let me ask you, is the Unknown Guy constantly avoiding you under the pretenses that he’s constantly going to work, but never has any evidence that he’s actually at work?”
Unknown Lady: “Um……maybe.”
Seth: “Chuck is doing the exact same thing!”
Seth puts on his tinfoil hat and starts rambling about all the different scenarios for Chuck’s constant absence, the main one being that Chuck is leading a double life. Unknown Lady disagrees, saying that Chuck just constantly spends time in the back of the yogurt shack, and in Hardass’ random apartment discussing military and federal related terrorist activities because they all really like to play Call of Duty. Seth disagrees in return and says they need to gang up and discover what Chuck is really hiding. Unknown Lady tells Seth that this may lead to some real shark-jumping if they’re not careful. Seth assures her that he’s always careful and serious about matters like this, and that his best men are getting info about Chuck as they speak. At that exact moment, TIG and Larry are in Chuck’s bedroom, looking through his underwear drawer and stealing half of his CD collection.
Chuck, on the other hand, is sitting at a table in the next room pouring himself a tall glass of liquor, just like Hardass suggested. Just like the rest of this episode, Chuck hesitates and cautiously sips, but then thinks “screw it” and gulps down the rest of the glass.
Watching on the spy feed back in the basement, Hardass talks up Chuck to Cheesecake. He’s happy that for once Chuck ended a show as a real badass spy, instead of a wimp. Hardass goes on and on about how Chuck grew up today by totally setting up Nerdy Beak-Faced Guy, and then stabbing him in the back later on. He says that Chuck’s on his way to being a very good spy. Cheesecake, on the other hand, just stares at the monitor, extremely disappointed with Chuck. 
Before the show ends, we flashback to Cheesecake’s first visit to the Big Lots, but this time from her point of view. Talking to the old Spy Boss, Cheesecake finds out that Chuck is an important asset, but that he’s just a heartbroken loser. A young cocky Cheesecake tells the boss it’ll be a piece of cake.So I guess we’re supposed to see Chuck’s crossover to Serious Spy Chuck as the thing Cheesecake warned him about earlier this season – that if he wants to get serious about being a spy, he has to put aside things like friends and family and be all about the business. If that’s the case, I’m with Cheesecake – she’s going to need to stock up on tight t-shirts to keep this show interesting.
